


easy to love

by Onlymystory



Series: 9-1-1 Episode Vignettes [5]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Buck's parents are the worst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fluffy Ending, M/M, fics in series are unrelated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:01:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29628780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onlymystory/pseuds/Onlymystory
Summary: When Buck's parents come to town, Eddie and the rest of the 118 make sure Buck knows just how loved he is. And that the family you choose, is the family that matters.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: 9-1-1 Episode Vignettes [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1667722
Comments: 41
Kudos: 573





	easy to love

**Author's Note:**

> Should I be writing another chapter to my WIP instead of another fix-it fic to the last episode? Yes. Am I doing that? No. So here you go. The title is a song by The Jezabels, (and still breaks my heart cuz of Dance Academy).  
> In terms of this fic, gaslighting an abuse victim is some bullshit and I’m not here for the show doing that at all. Oh, and it really doesn’t come up here at all, but in my headcanon, Chimney doesn’t know about Daniel until after Buck does, because that was also some very shitty writing.  
> Anyway, onto the good stuff!
> 
> Added this to my vignettes series, that's more like a collection of unrelated fics inspired by specific episodes or scenes.

Eddie hadn’t heard from Buck since he went all Rocky on the punching bag at work, other than the brief exchange where he texted Buck to remind him that he’s always here to talk to and Buck replied back that he’d think about it. And now they’re sitting around a table, listening to Buck pretend like this is just another anecdote, a story to laugh about in a few weeks.

Eddie won’t pretend like he’s never considered what Buck’s childhood must have been like. They all thought there was a history of abuse there.

It’s not like they all sit around talking about Buck when he’s not there, not any more than they talk about any of the others when they’re not around--with concern, never gossip--but Eddie knows he’s not the only one to notice just how many of Buck’s childhood stories revolved around him getting hurt. 

He remembers when he first learned about Maddie’s ex and what she went through. How angry he felt on her behalf, on Buck’s. 

Eddie has sisters. If anyone had treated them like that, Eddie would have put them in the ground. 

There was a moment, maybe a couple of them, early on in his friendship with Buck when he’d wondered why Buck hadn’t gone after Doug. It was an unkind and unfair thing to think, but it didn’t change the fact that he thought it.

But over time, he began to realize that the abuse wasn’t just from Maddie’s dead husband. There were just too many other things that felt unsettling. The age difference between Buck and Maddie. The stories Buck told. The way Maddie had been with Doug since her freshman year of college; that it would be years before Maddie would even realize that maybe this wasn’t what she wanted, long before she would be able to use the term “abuse.” 

No, Eddie’s known that the Buckley kids grew up in an abusive home. 

But this? 

This is so far beyond what he expected. 

Abuse is abuse and Eddie would never argue that. 

But there’s something different, he thinks, about living in the home that Buck’s describing, about growing up like that, and never knowing why your own parents hate you. 

“They just wanted me for parts,” Buck is saying, with that overconfident shaky laugh that Eddie knows means Buck is holding himself together by a thread. “Defective parts at that.”

“That’s not on you,” he says to Buck, glancing over at Hen and Bobby. He recognizes the look on their faces. They can’t exactly say that’s not true. It is true. The ugliness of the situation doesn’t change the reality. 

Eddie wants nothing more than to wrap Buck in his arms and spit hellfire at anyone who dares to try to hurt him. 

But he can’t. He doesn’t know where to begin. 

And on top of it, he and Buck have been in a weird place for months. The easy camaraderie they had was thrown for a loop with the hellscape of 2020 and figuring out their new normal has led to challenges. There were moments before. Moments that felt heavy with potential. But these days, they’re just stuck. And Eddie’s still trying to figure out where to go next.

“You’re their son too, Buck,” Hen is saying. “You didn’t deserve that.”

Bobby looks stricken because he understands that grief, but he also can’t imagine taking that grief and channeling it into treating your living children so callously, like there was only one child that ever mattered. 

Chimney comes up the stairs, the look on his face showing that Maddie told him what was going on, told him about this secret brother, before he arrived at work. 

That thread Buck’s been hanging onto is clearly unraveling, because he manages a couple more pithy lines that undercut his pain, and then he’s disappearing down the stairs. 

The rest of them sit in stunned silence for a long moment. 

“I want to hurt them,” says Eddie.

“Get in line,” Bobby says and Hen and Chimney echo their agreement.

* * *

When they make it inside the factory, the first thing Eddie sees is Buck. To be fair, that’s who he’s looking for, but mostly, he sees Buck’s form. How it’s holding the rope, desperately trying to pull the weight off the worker, but so beyond hope that he’s just sort of falling against the rope versus actively pulling. 

It breaks Eddie’s heart. 

He’s there in a split second, reaching hands up to grab the rope, to help and to save the man Buck’s trying to save, but also to save Buck himself. 

This is what they do. When one of them slips to the end of the rope, the other takes up the slack and pulls them back in.

When they make it outside and get Buck checked out, everyone hovering to make sure he’s okay, Eddie can see exactly what he was afraid of, staring out from Buck’s quiet demeanor. There was relief in his eyes, absolutely, but there was also surprise. Like the thought of someone coming to rescue him was baffling.

And Eddie knows, he knows, that on a different day, Buck would never doubt his team for a moment. But this isn’t a different day. This is a day after he’s learned that the reason his parents never picked up the other end of the rope is that they didn’t want to. So Eddie knows that Buck was doubting today. He never wants Buck to doubt again. 

Uncertain of what to say exactly, he just sits next to Buck on the edge of the ambulance, puts his arm around him, and lets Buck lean in while Bobby talks to him. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t come back out when the order came through,” says Buck, barely making eye contact with Bobby. 

Bobby exchanges a brief look with Eddie then says something that makes Buck’s head snap back up. “I’m not.”

“You’re...you’re not mad?” asks Buck.

“I was worried about you, I was scared we wouldn’t be able to get back in there in time, but I couldn’t possibly be mad at you. Buck, you did nearly everything right. Your team cleared you to go help and you got lost trying to save a man’s life. A life you did in fact save.”

“But I was supposed to leave…”

“You risked your life, and yours alone,” replies Bobby. “You were trying to save a life.”

“Don’t get too many ideas though,” interjects Eddie in a hurry. “We’re a team.”

Bobby reaches in to ruffle Buck’s hair. “I’m proud of you, kid.”

Buck smiles, that kind of shy smile that shows up when he feels good about himself, deep in his heart, that Eddie realizes they all are just now realizing why that smile comes so rarely. “I’ll try to keep doing things that make you proud,” says Buck. 

Eddie frowns as Bobby looks suddenly concerned, but it’s Athena who steps in first. 

“Buck,” she says firmly, in that tone that usually comes with the use of one’s full name. “We are not proud of you because of what accomplishments you do or do not make, or the intensity of a save. We are proud of you, because of who you are.”

“Really?”

“Every damn day,” she answers and lets Buck pull her into a hug.

* * *

When Buck’s parents show up at the firehouse to try and talk to Buck, Eddie wants to tell them where they can shove it. But that’s Buck’s call, not his. So while Bobby steers them to his office, looking concerned the entire time, Eddie makes a few calls and waits for Buck at the station entrance. He’s not about to let Buck get blindsided by them.

Eddie hesitates at the door, not sure if Buck wants him to stay or go, but the sudden death grip on his hand tells him all he needs to know. 

He’s clearly not the only one who doesn’t think Buck should be alone with these people, as Bobby’s sitting in his desk chair opposite the Buckleys and Athena’s standing next to him, both of them looking the definition of relaxed. And yet somehow, they’re terrifying.

“Evan, maybe there’s somewhere else we could have this conversation,” begins Mrs. Buckley.

“It’s Buck, actually,” whispers Buck, his voice barely registering.

“Evan,” protests Mr. Buckley.

“Buck,” corrects Bobby. “His name, as he said, is Buck.”

Mrs. Buckley shoots a nasty look at him, just for a moment. “Somewhere private,” she insists. “This is a family matter.”

Eddie smiles at her, the sort of smile he learned as a soldier, the kind of smile you use when you want someone to be afraid enough to take a step back. “We are his family.”

Bobby doesn’t even give either Buckley parent the space to protest. “We love him. We choose him, every single day, because of who he is all on his own.”

“The only way we’re leaving is if Buck wants to leave,” adds Athena. She looks directly at Buck. “Would you like us to leave?”

Buck shakes his head, just a fraction, and the others’ postures shift a little more resolutely. 

That’s one matter settled.

The conversation doesn’t go well. Not that Eddie, or really anyone in that room except Buck’s parents apparently, expected it to.

“We never blamed you,” says Buck’s dad after a few false starts.

Sure acted like you did,” thinks Eddie, though he keeps glaring rather than commenting.

“You were born to save someone,” says Mrs. Buckley. “And that’s what you do. Everyday.”

Eddie can’t help himself. That’s some bullshit and he’s not about to let Buck absorb that kind of talk. Neither is Athena from the way she opens her mouth too.

But Buck stops them, speaking before they can. “No,” he says. “No, that’s not okay. You don’t get to do that. It was not okay that you deliberately had me to try and save someone else. I wasn’t a lucky match. You made me for parts and when the parts weren’t enough, you decided I wasn’t enough either.”

He’s holding his voice extremely steady, like the adult he is, like the man who’s been putting the work into therapy, rather than the child living in the abuse of the past. 

“It is not a child’s responsibility to save someone. You blamed me every single day. You don’t get to suddenly pretend that’s not our family’s truth just because you finally got called out on it. It’s bad enough you’ve had Maddie believing this bullshit for so long, you don’t get to keep doing it to me. You don’t get to put a pretty ribbon around the abuse you put me through just because I’ve figured out my shit now.” 

Bobby’s absolutely beaming from his side of the room. Eddie’s pretty sure his own expression looks similar. 

Buck’s still going. Eddie listens as he makes a note to send Buck’s therapist flowers or cookies or something. 

“I save lives, because of who I am,” states Buck firmly. “Because of the people in this room with me and in the rest of this firehouse. You don’t get to claim any ownership in that.”

“Evan,” protests his mother.

“I think you should go,” Buck tells them, in a voice that’s quiet but resolute. Eddie’s not really sure how he could be closer to Buck at this moment, but he presses in more, a solid line of support at his side.

“Ev...Buck,” starts Buck’s father.

Bobby shifts his position, ready to step in, but Buck doesn’t seem to need it. 

“No. I said you should go. If you ever want me to consider even the possibility of us being able to be in the same room ever again, you’ll go now and you’ll go willingly. But you’re leaving either way.”

Buck’s mom looks like she wants to say more--though what she thinks could possibly be okay to say is beyond Eddie--but his dad leads her back out of the station. 

Once they’re gone, Eddie wraps Buck up in a hug, holding on as tight as he can. Over Buck’s shoulder, Athena nods at him and points upstairs. 

Eventually, Buck pulls away and wipes at his eyes. “Thank you guys, for um...for sticking around.”

“You were amazing,” insists Eddie.

“Proud of you, Buck,” says Bobby as he pulls Buck in for a hug of his own. “Now let’s go upstairs and we’ll see about some lunch before our shift starts.”

When they get upstairs, Eddie’s earlier calls have come to fruition. All of their friends and family are crowded around every available seat in the loft. Maddie and May were both on shift at the dispatch center, but everyone else is there. Karen, Michael, Carla, Abuela, Pepa, Lena, and more. 

Eddie watches as Buck looks around in bewilderment. “What are all of you doing here?”

“Well Eddie called,” says Carla. “And said our Buckaroo could use a little family time today, so everyone that could get away from work or school figured we could spare an hour for a visit with you and some of Bobby’s cooking.”

Bobby laughs from where he’s already started that very endeavor.

“You’re all here for me?” questions Buck, his voice choked with emotion.

“That’s what family does, Buck.”

“You’re all amazing, but I don’t...I don’t deserve all this,” protests Buck, like he didn’t just manage to tell his own parents just how much he deserves, just how amazing he is. They’ll have to work on that.

Abuela starts scolding Buck in Spanish, something about how that’s nonsense as far as Eddie can tell.

Hen and Chimney both swing an arm over Buck’s shoulders, which is no mean feat considering how much taller he is than them. “That’s the thing about family, Buck,” says Chimney. “You don’t have to deserve it. We just are.”

* * *

Once their shift is done, Buck heads home to get a little sleep and to talk to Maddie and a promise to come to dinner with Eddie and Christopher that night. It’s their weekend, so to speak, and Eddie’s got plans. No more of this wondering what he and Buck are or aren’t to each other. No more second-guessing what the weirdness of this last year means. He’s going for broke.

And after a few minutes of talking to his son, he’s doing it with Christopher’s full support.

When Buck arrives that night, he doesn’t say too much about his conversation with Maddie. Just that Chimney clued him in on a few things and that Buck’s starting to realize that for all the things Buck’s been working through in therapy, Maddie’s just starting to come to terms with a lot of the existence of what she’s been through, let alone beginning to address it. 

But he says they’re okay.

Buck’s mood was already clearly better when he walked in the door and he’s absolutely ecstatic to see Christopher. Eddie watches them with a smile on his face, loving how much those two love each other. 

There are a few rough moments where Eddie can tell that Buck’s thinking about how much he loves this kid and Christopher’s not even his and that then Buck’s thinking about his parents not loving him, but they keep up the distractions.

They have dinner cooked by Abuela and picked up by Eddie earlier. He’s not sure she even trusted him to keep the tamales warm until Buck arrived, but they’re Buck’s favorite food and Abuela doesn’t deny him a damn thing. Kind of a trait among the Diaz clan.

“This is amazing,” sighs Buck. 

“We’re not done yet.”

“There’s more?!”

“Cake!” says Christopher with exuberance.

Buck looks hesitant. “You guys made a cake?”

Christopher shakes his head. “You said Dad’s not allowed to bake after we had to use a chisel to get the brownies out of the pan.”

Eddie wants to defend himself, but he really can’t. Plus, Buck teasing him is a very good sign. “I bought the cake at the store.”

When he brings it out, Buck gives it a puzzled look, while Christopher giggles, then quickly muffles the sound with his hand. 

It looks like there’s an unlit candle in the cake and then Eddie can see that flicker of wonderment when Buck sees that it’s not a candle, but a house key. “Eddie?” questions Buck, uncertainty in his tone.

Eddie’s shit at words and speeches, always has been. He’s a man of action, but sometimes actions need words, so he makes sure to find the right ones here. “I need you to understand how much I care about you, Buck. To understand why I put this key here. I know these last months have been weird, but I love you, Buck. I want this to feel like your home again, but more than that, I want this to actually be your home.”

“You love me?” interrupts Buck.

Eddie stares. Buck will not be getting up from this table without knowing just how much he loves him. “I do. So much, Buck. And I have for a long time and I was nervous about telling you, but I don’t want to live in this limbo anymore. I’m completely and totally in love with you.” He takes a breath and continues. “I know this is out of order and we should probably go on a date or something first but…”

“Seriously?” interrupts Christopher. “You guys have literally been dating for years, Buck’s like my second dad, and you two are super obvious. Just don’t make out where I can see you.”

He’s going to be an absolute nightmare as a teenager, thinks Eddie as Buck bursts out laughing. 

Then they’re all laughing and Buck’s crying a little bit and Eddie definitely has some tears, but none of it matters, because Buck says yes.

He says yes and he takes the key and sucks the frosting off and Eddie’s aware that his son is sitting right there, but also jesus, Buck. So he just sort of stares at Buck and Buck stares back.

“Ugh, fine,” says Christopher, rolling his eyes. “You can kiss each other, quit making it weird.”

Eddie’s not even sure that he was waiting for permission, but now that he has it, he’s definitely going to take advantage. He scoots his chair closer to Buck’s and leans in to kiss him. 

He keeps it PG, with just the tiniest tease, licking at the seam of Buck’s lips with the promise of more to come. As first kisses go, there are no fireworks, no magical feeling that shimmers down to his toes. 

It just feels right, like a boat slipping into the harbor, like finding the last puzzle piece. Buck feels like a thunderstorm on a summer night, like uncontrollable laughter at the most ridiculous things, like popcorn and old movies. He feels like coming home. Eddie’s so very desperately in love with this man. 

He breaks away from Buck’s lips a full 15 seconds after Christopher loudly clears his throat, just to make a point. 

Eddie also refuses to stop holding Buck’s hand, which makes it difficult for Buck to actually cut the cake and serve it. 

He looks to Christopher for help, who’s ignoring both of them, furiously texting someone.

“Christopher, a little help here?” asks Buck.

Chris keeps texting. 

“Seriously, who are you talking to?” asks Eddie.”What could be more important than this moment?”

“I was texting Abuela,” answers Christopher, like that should be obvious. “I wanted her to know she could start planning the wedding again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! Drop a line and let me know which part was your favorite.
> 
> Also, I didn’t say it because I didn’t really want to be throwing in a ton of pandemic reminders, but assume in this post-covid world of 9-1-1 that vaccines are plentiful and well-distributed. Thus they can all be around each other freely.


End file.
